Lesbian dating etiquette

You might find the person as not a good match, but still, it is important to make the conversation friendly and equally respectful. Usually, the person calls for the date pays, but there are no such steadfast rules that this idea can’t be altered.

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Sure you can talk about where you grew up and if you were married, but keep the very personal details private.You might think she'll be impressed with the number of times your phone goes off in one night. Really, she'll be more impressed if you focus your attention on her. It's okay to mention that you've had exes and even how long you were together.Happily, plenty of us get to bumble around kissing girls without being excluded, committed or punched in the face, but I can’t help seeing random acts of lesbian-targeting rudeness as the thin end of the wedge.In between writing letters to Amnesty and volunteering for Stonewall it would be nice if we could persuade people to be polite.Do you remember those ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ books that let teenagers pick the story’s outcome by choosing between pairs of page numbers?

The girl looks so promising on her online profile, or when you meet her at the bar.

Let her see your best side, even if you never intend to see her again.

Remember, she may have a friend you're interested in.

However, those with a grasp of lesbian etiquette avoid such topics and stick to the latest episode of Dr Who or the location of the hymn numbers. But we object to you using the official appellative of our sexual identity as a signpost to the ridiculous and/or shocking.

Okay, so having to put up with people’s heteronormative assumptions is not really such a big deal (and they do give lesbians an opportunity to come out) but it’s kind of tiring, rather like having people constantly mispronounce your name. Nor – guys, girls, gay men and indeed lesbians – is the correct response ‘But you’re so pretty! Also, DRUNK men, now is not a good moment to enquire as to what lesbians actually do in bed. We don’t want to hear any more about lesbian vampire killers, lesbians to whom you wish to be covered in chocolate and thrown, or any type of lesbian ‘romp’.

Not the ‘take off your nail-varnish pre-fisting’ variety, but the sort of thing that gets straight people invited to gay parties; the stripes you gotta earn to be a male guest at the Candy Bar or a gay girl’s BFF.